The Danger of Expectations: The Cost of “I Assume They Know”
“I assume they know.” This phrase, repeated multiple times during a recent debrief session with one of my clients, made me pause and reflect. How often do we take for granted that what is clear to us is equally clear to others?
In her case, a heavy workload and the constant pressure to make quick decisions left little room for structured and clear communication. The result? A frustrating cycle of late-night revisions and rework, as she strived to bring documents and tasks up to her high standards.
A stressful, yet all too familiar, scenario for many leaders.
What Can We Learn?
“Assuming they know” creates a communication gap that can lead to unnecessary challenges:
- Confusion: Team members may not fully understand what’s expected of them.
- Frustration: Constantly revising work can feel like micromanagement and build resentment.
- Loss of Trust: Employees may sense a lack of confidence in their abilities, leading to disengagement.
To address this issue, I encouraged my client to create two simple lists:
1️⃣ What she assumes her team knows.
2️⃣ What she thinks her team assumes about her.
This exercise opened the door to a deeper and more honest conversation. It highlighted gaps in understanding and laid the foundation for a more transparent and collaborative dynamic.
How to Break the Cycle
Transforming unspoken assumptions into clear communication requires intentional effort. Here are three practical steps:
1️⃣ Clarify and Communicate Expectations
Rather than assuming alignment, seek confirmation. Ask questions like:
- “How do you see the goal of this project?”
- “What support or resources would help you succeed?”
2️⃣ Explore Their Expectations
Understanding what your team members expect from you can strengthen mutual trust and build a more balanced dynamic.
3️⃣ Take Small, Gradual Steps
As Giorgio Nardone suggests, tackle complex situations with small, manageable actions. Start with one area—such as a specific meeting or project—and focus on clearer communication there. Observe the impact and expand this approach gradually.
Marshall Goldsmith also reminds us that what holds us back is often not external obstacles but internal beliefs. Shifting your mindset from “I can’t” to “How can I?” opens up new possibilities for growth and collaboration.
What Are Your Assumptions?
When we reflect on our unspoken expectations, we uncover opportunities for better communication and stronger relationships.
This week, I challenge you to take a moment and ask yourself:
- What do you assume your team already knows?
- What do you think your team assumes about you?
These simple reflections could be the starting point for more authentic conversations and meaningful collaboration.
I’d love to hear how you navigate the challenge of unspoken expectations. Feel free to share your insights or reach out to explore this topic further.
Until next time,??
Massimo
